SNEAKER ROAST: WELCOME TO THE JEREMY SCOTT CIRCUS OF SNEAKERS
Designer: Jeremy Scott
Well let me start off by giving you a short run down of who Jeremy Scott is. He is very well known American fashion designer who was born in Kansas City, Missouri. It is stated that he attended the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, New York for fashion design. His career began on the runways of Paris and has blossomed to have his collections featured in Los Angeles, Seoul, New York, London and Moscow.
Scott is very well known for having some very outrageous creations that cater more the tastes of pop icons and celebrities with very specific tastes and BUDGETS! Some of the celebrities that you may see wearing some of his designs would be Madonna, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Paris Hilton, Rihanna, Lil’ Kim, Fergie, Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry and the list goes on and on. So, to put it bluntly…he SHOULD know what he is doing when it comes to designing items to wear.
So, recently the news was released that Jeremy Scott had taken what some would call a classic streetball sneaker and put his own spin on it. It is a part of the “Adidas Originals by Originals” program. It was brought to my attention by K-Laced and I was appalled at what I saw, it was just a mess. Let me warn you that he has taken a classic sneaker and pretty much remixed it to the levels of Ringling Brothers or Cirque Du Soleil…yeah just out there! But, let me just give you an idea of the damage done…
So let me take you on a tour of this “sneaker”…yeah I put it in quotes! *OK…give me a moment to take it in just like you are doing…*
Now, let’s start with the colours…BROWN, ORANGE (NEON AT THAT), VOMIT GREEN, WHITE, MAROON, METALIC SILVER, GOLD, METALIC GOLD…and the icing on the cake LEOPARD PRINT! Ummm…what the hell?!?! Since when did these colors ever go together? Come on man…really? Where do I even start with this one? Let’s start with the metallic silver by the front of the shoe…oh yeah how nice is that? Not to mention that he made it into a type of REPTILE print…you know to contrast the LEOPARD print! Who the HELL approved this? Someone speak up right now…Adidas…why I ask…WHY?
So let’s keep going…BREATH with me it’s going to be ok…now you know as much as anyone else that if you are going to match some animal prints like leopard and reptile you go with NEON ORANGE, VOMIT GREEN and oh yes folks BROWN! If you think about it, these colors are kind of symbolic because one color represents what comes out of my mouth when I see these “sneakers” and the other color represents what comes out of my…well yeah I guess you can get where I am going with this…HAHAHAHA!
Some of you may think that I’m being a bit harsh…so let me paint a mental picture for you. You are at Rucker Park in New York amongst some of the best of the best in the street ball league. You look around and see Fat Joe, Jay-Z, Skip To My Lou, Pee Wee Kirkland, etc…people are getting ready to play so they pull out their kicks…you see Air Max, Air Jordans, Reebok Pumps and the list goes on and on. Then you pull out your Adidas Streetball sneakers by Jeremy Scott *insert record pulling* yeah you better believe everyone will turn and look at you wondering where you think you are going to play in them “Krusty the Clown Classics”. There are only two things that can happen, ONE you have to play like Michael Jordan against the New York Knicks during the Christmas classic games, or TWO they will be laughing and making so much fun of you that you will cry as an adult…YES YOU WILL CRY! There are way too many jokes that can made about these shoes! I don’t know about you, but I would rather play in my socks then wear these “THINGS”!
I would rather wear a pair of old socks with my big toe poking out of the top of it and I will take it one step further by drawing a Nike swoosh on them with a magic marker, then wear ANY of those sneakers.
To add an extra slap in the face these shoes are going to be released in August 2011 for…wait for it…$200 USD…that’s right folks you can look like a fool for that price.
Bottom line, these shoes are trash…Adidas really needs to think long and hard about this campaign because I have been watching people and their sneakers for YEARS and I have NEVER seen anyone in sneakers this bad…I just want the satisfaction of throwing these in the garbage myself…in fact I am going to print off a picture of them and throw them out to satisfy that need right now…one moment please…
*I’M BACK* Ahhhhhh, I feel so liberated now! WOOOO!
…hold on shhhhh…do you hear that? Listen it sounds like…no it can’t be…really it is finally coming to my neighborhood…OMG it’s…it’s…
THE JEREMY SCOTT CIRCUS OF SNEAKERS!!!
Look…look it’s the VERY high top sneakers in SILVER with YELLOW and TAN highlights! Oh boy they are so flashy especially since they have that HUGE Adidas shin guard looking tongue.
Oh WOW…it can’t be…I’m dreaming right now! Tell me they didn’t bring out them SILVER shoes with the TRIPLE TASSLE TONGUE!!! It’s like having tons of tin foil on your feet!
Oh no he didn’t! Not the ones with the REALLY long tongue that covers the whole shoe! I have heard about them, but to see them is just a WHOLE different experience!
Someone pinch me RIGHT NOW!!! It is the basketball shoe that has 3 tongues because having to do up the laces with only one is not difficult enough…let’s just make the matter that much harder in life! *APPLAUSE*
OOOOOHHHHHH BOOOOOYYY!!! They brought that HEAT for this parade…I mean just look at those kicks they the are on FIRE…no I’m serious…they look like are on fire…WHY?
You know Jeremy Scott didn’t forget about the kids at all…take a look at those PINK TEDDY BEAR kicks?!?!? I mean who wouldn’t want their child walking the streets with shoes that looked like that?
And not to be outdone…he even brought out them PEBBLES FLINTSTONE shoes with the BONES and everything on them…WOW…I mean who could possibly hate on a sneaker with BONES on the laces right?
HOLY COW…here come the big guns!!! Here come the kicks with the wings on them! Nothing says style like a pair of shoes with some wings sticking off them. It does not get much better then this folks. They have the METALIC GOLD joints that just shine in the light, they have the kicks with the PASTEL colors on them…you know in case you are feeling like getting your fine art on. Last but not least they got the sneaker that you HAVE to have for the summer, them ALL WHITE joints! I mean it doesn’t get more heavenly then that right?!?!? Or am I wrong?
Just in case any of you are wondering there is NO WAY I would ever wear any of those sneakers…I’ll put it to you this way. I would rather wear a pair of old socks with my big toe poking out of the top of it and I will take it one step further by drawing a Nike swoosh on them with a magic marker, then wear ANY of those sneakers.
Bottom line, I can’t in good faith state anything good about these sneakers. I personally feel that Adidas dropped the ball on this line because in a sneaker market that is this competitive you would think that they would try and put their best foot forward. Yes, the celebrities eat these types of shoes up, but do you think that they pay for any of these sneakers? Come on…you know that they get all these “things” handed to them for free to promote the madness, whereas they will ask YOU to pay a minimum of $200 USD! Do you see the problem here? Think of how long you would have to work to pretty much look like an IDIOT…yeah that’s right I said it…IDIOT! Let’s be real folks, these sneakers just mock the sneaker culture…loud colors, various fabrics and new concepts I can handle, but Jeremy Scott has gone too far! This foolishness is just upsetting from a company that brought us the Adidas Superstar…*sigh*…what a mess! I can tell you one thing the only type of dunking I would do with these sneakers would be in the DUMPSTER behind Foot Locker.